Empathy

Kage R. Jakes] A visitation is not quite the same as a guesting of some Thing supernatural. A visitation can be a glimmer of prescience, a visitation can be reverence, a visitation can be a sign of rust [corroded]. A visitation can be an inspection made under canon law by some clergyman -- it is a feast day, it is specific prayer, it is a mourner-visiting-family, viewing-the-body, touching-the-casket, it could establish the right to bear arms, it is a communication [however shrouded in signs].

K. R. Jakes did not call S. Ashton Winters before she drove over in her black truck and knocked on the door. Why not? Perhaps she wanted to leave a letter; perhaps she, solitary Orphan that she is [no (stay back)], just wanted to make the effort. Perhaps she wanted to fail. Perhaps she Knew that S. Ashton Winters would be home today.

There is a knocknock on Ashton's door. Twice, a pause. And then one heavier knock.

[Ashton] When she comes to the door, she is weary and the house is unseasonably warm.

She looks at Kage from the door, with her hair too straight and too perfect, the air is warm enough that it is probably melting the winter woman. It is a comfortable seventy eight degrees. She is charged, and too warm. She's running an eighty degree fever, it's a strange sort of thing for Ashton.

She cocks her head to the side and regards Kage for a long time. She hugs the woman, almost awkwardly.

She says nothing.

[Kage R. Jakes] [actually dicerolls -- howy'afeelin'Ashtonbaby?]
Dice Rolled:[ 5 d10 ] 6, 6, 8, 8, 10 (Success x 5 at target 6)

[Kage R. Jakes] Ashton regards Kage for a long time.
[..and when you look into the abyss,
the abyss also-]

Kage isn't -- in spite of what some of her aquaintance may be fooled into believing, just by the way she carries herself, just by how much care she takes -- the most empathic of people. Often she has no truck with what other people are feeling, really, and when Ashton comes to the door, flushed with fever, and stares at her, her brow creases quizzically, and her large dark eyes stay steady. When Ashton hugs her, awkward, Kage takes a slow breath, and: she is not the most empathic of people.

But right now, Kage has looked at Ashton, Kage has felt Ashton's arms around her, and she feels -- clarity. Ashton is a still water, and there is a spill of light that does not reflect, only reveals, and she really sees it. The briefest of pauses, and then, perhaps less awkward because this is out of choice -- out of a decision come to -- Kage lifts her arms and hugs Ashton back [tightly]. Winds her fingers in the other woman's straight hair.

[Ashton] She holds her for what feels like forever, and it's strange because Ashton feels like she's resting at room temperature instead of frigid north temperatures like she is supposed to. The woman shudders in her friend's grasp, and she closes her eyes tightly. She tries not to think, but she is an intelligent woman.

She thinks anyway.

"Thanks for coming by," she tells her. She says nothing else just yet. Hands tremble and finally she breaks away. She regards Kage; she has killed another lover.

They can both see it in her eyes.

"Marcelle's walking now," offhand.

[Kage R. Jakes] "What's wrong," Kage says, and it isn't the smartest thing to say. Maybe there's a tool somewhere: the perfect phrase to apply to a situation for the result you want. There's probably a NWO Agent handbook on such things [suggestibility]. That isn't what Kage wants, exactly. She came by without calling ahead, and now that she's here, standing on Ashton's threshold, meeting the Euthanatoi's gaze once the Euthanatoi has pulled away, and both of her eyebrows lift a little. She reaches up to push a strand of hair behind her ear, and adds, "You should talk to me. You can, even."

Marcelle's walking down, and Kage's mouth curves, slightly. "I hope she isn't unlocking doors yet."

[Ashton] She steps aside.

And it takes her a long time to think about what she has to say, to use words because she has them. To be herself and not a corrupt woman long dead, though it would be much easier. Dorothy always, always knew what to say, but now she was not her. She was simply Ashton.

"Do you know where she was, when I went to help him?" because in her mind, killing Dylan was helping him, "with Michael Willis. He babysat her, all the time, it was what she did. Marcelle loves Michael. That's where she was when Dylan was all sorts of banged up due to an effect gone haywire a few months ago... and... and I took her there. And I gave him my child, so I could go kill his... so he could be someone else's son or daughter."

She is not distant. She is right. fucking. there.

"And I look at Rene, and I look at fuck,myself, and I don't know how people can go on so damned numb... or why that still hurts... when I know that's what creation is."

It is sacrifice.

[Kage R. Jakes] The murderess [serial killer, in serial killer lives] is wearing her heart on her sleeve, and her heart is tattered. Kage closes the door behind her, and undoes her jacket, and takes off her hat, scruffing her fingers through her messy hair. Kage is a plain woman, only occasionally lovely, when she smiles, say, or looks particularly solemn.

She is looking solemn now, or grave -- yes, grave is a good word. Her eyes are a color difficult to know, just like she's difficult to know, and she listens to Ashton without interrupting, although for a second it seems like she would. When Ashton says that line about so I could go kill his. She shakes her head slightly, but doesn't say a word, doesn't interrupt, watches Ashton and listens.

"I'm glad that you're sad," is what she says, finally. "And ... just knowing what creation is ... doesn't mean you aren't also taking part in it, right?"

[Ashton] "We all take part in creation. It's what we do by living," she says. For a second, she smiles. It makes it easier. The woman has faith, such crushing, utter faith, and so rare was it to see her falter.

[Kage R. Jakes] "Precisely," Kage says, not smiling, but not with an expression full of doom -- no portents here. "And what you just told me, that's really sad." She wrinkles her nose, and smiles now -- but faintly; it touches her eyes like a finger of moonlight on water. "He was already someone else's son or daughter, Ashes. You ... It's okay that you're still here, you know?"

[Ashton] [Wp: don't cry, Ashes!]
Dice Rolled:[ 6 d10 ] 2, 2, 2, 5, 6, 9 (Success x 2 at target 6)

[Ashton] "He'll live in stories and memories," she said. Just like Jonas. Only this time-

stop it.

She smiles a little, and she feels that. It's okay for her to be sad. And it's okay that she's still here, "I worry about my traditionmates, Kage. I really, really do. Rene's going down a bad road, and I don't think she realizes it."

[Kage R. Jakes] "Maybe," she says, noncommital. Because what the hell were stories and memories, really? They were just illusions; just -- fables, told by bright voices against a great dark. Or something. They mattered, but only sometimes. Then: "What do you mean, down a bad road? Is there anything you can do now?" Unspoken, but there anyway, a ghost: before it's too late [before it's another problem]. And Kage was almost mentored by a man who was a Singer, but who a [very few] knew also walked a different road [fate].

[Ashton] "There's always something I can do now, and I will try my best. Equinox is coming up," she tells her. The woman knows what this means, but gives little indication to others what that actually meant.

The woman inhaled, and she thought over this. She started to wander off toward her kitchen, and footsteps were soft.

"You never know... well, some might, but who can trust time."

[Kage R. Jakes] "Yes," Kage agrees, there's always something I can do now, with a brief smile. This is not one of those smiles that transforms her features: it's just courtesy; an easing, as of tension, maybe. She leaves her scarf and her gloves on some flat surface, the scarf coiling like a snake or a serpent, and she follows Ashton-who-is-burning-today, Ashton-who-is-hot-but-should-be-winter.

"But I meant specifically, Ashes. Do you have a plan? Or just ... will?" A brief pause, and then, "What does the Equinox have to do with anything?"